Monday, September 12, 2011

pray..man

I hate repeating myself over and over and over but sometimes it is alot easier just to stick to the same old story. But my same old story keeps getting better and better. Had another productive day again ! What... I am not trying to make myself look better than anyone else but I should be a paid employee instead of first pick out of the goodwill pile ! I am so okay and every day that I am away from him and here empowers me. I will never ever go back to him. I will not insult my intelligence. Took a load of trash out to the dump and another load of stuff to good will. Went grocery shopping for our diet food. Then somehow we ended up at the library and check this out my mommy found me the book I have been waiting for and I did not even realize it was out yet or wrote !! The newest Black Dagger Brotherhood about the sister. I looked at my mom when she handed it to me at the library and as soon as she handed it to me I did the typical daughter thing and rolled my eyes like she was handing me a bible or something (probably not a good example to use huh?) Anyway guess I will pray for me since it is an erotica plethora of bloodsucking hysteria. ahhhh vampires.And let me state that I know a couple of vampires of my own. Only they suck the life out of you instead of that hot gooey stuff.. Wow I need to focus I am exhausted . So I am outside breaking city ordinance by watering all the outside plants and bushes that my mom has neglected to water this year. i am walking outside and the grass is crunching under my feet and I can hear the plants and rosebushes dying of thirst. Really it was like I became conscious of the fact they were famished and I knew If i did not do something about it that something bad would happen like it would get put off for the rest of the summer and I just could not walk inside. It took me close to an hour but I took my time and I swear each time I moved I could feel them breathe in and sigh and you know what I feel like I did something that mattered. How pathetic is that ? Also the last group of ancient rosebushes that have not been pruned in years and it gnarled and twisted with age as soon as the mist of water hit it I swear to gosh a real life praying mantis appeared by my big toe and I did not scream because I was not scared. She was beautiful and I swear she started preening as all the foliage started dripping with moisture. Like she was saluting me or was she trying to tell me something....mmhhh cause don't they mate and kill the male?

5 comments:

bs said...

what is god but a prayer target, a receptacle of desperation, of hope for the impossible, of an organizing factor for the disorganized?

god keeps a few folks out of psych units and puts a few in

stand on a north pacific wilderness beach on a waning moon at night and stare at the milky way and the stars and the moon and know god

in the morning walk the high tide edge and pick up beach agates amber aglow and sea glass in blues and browns and frosted whites and fill your fists with such beauty and shake it at the blueing sky and tell god thanks but you're gonna take the rest of the day for yourself and the crabs

miwokdreamer said...

you always had such a way with words sigh....beautiful!1

bs said...

words are only motes in the eyes of dogs
and dogs are only what we worship when we forgot our way
and gods are fun to scratch behind the ears and on their bellies
the best word ever?

yes
baby
oh yes

well, that's four words isn't it? fore? foreplay? play for god

miwokdreamer said...

lol! wow you have something on the brain..you dirty dog !!

Anonymous said...

you are getting healthier and that is cool! But don't lose yourself darling!