Which...?

Outside alot today with my hands buried in the earth, I could just lose myself in the primal scent. There have been a couple times that someone has actually pointed a finger at me and whispered...Which !?Which? Which what ? At first I am always dumbfounded of course, at least on the outside. The face everyone can see. The need to remain calm far outweighs the want to start cackling all crazy while i rub the wart on my chin. People fear and respect what they don't understand. I know that there have been times I have feared for my loved ones when we are locked in battle. Because I know there is something that watches over me.
One thing for certain I do know, is that i don't give a shit if people don't understand me. Hell I barely know myself. Who cares ? Especially since where I'm from- the ghetto..not the best quality of people and who cares what the tweekers think. all that really matters is what you think about yourself right?
I will never take the time to explain myself or my beliefs to anyone who is not smart enough intellectually to understand it. It saves us both alot of time and for myself a little piece of mind. Maybe it is the cards I have always read- THOTH Deck baby that gives the wrong impression..so be it then all i know for certain is that  when i wake up in the morning i am okay with myself.
So I guess I am not a relegious fanatic. But spiritual I am, deeply spiritual. What does that mean Kris ? Spiritual..? Does it mean I don't believe in GOD? Far from it ! This is what I say , looking toward the holy land..God has more than one name. I truly believe that ! Wouldn't it just be so much easier to take the name GOD, Allah, Jehovah, etc out of every language and just let it be that feeling that burns in your chest. That burning ache that actually means your "safe". Because of the righteous spark of insanity we know is good. A get out of jail card for immortality.
I have a passion for non fiction and try to keep my mind fed with fiber. It helps you shit better and keeps one regular. Who or what I believe in is ever-changing.
I find truth in the bible and a couple chapters of this belief. A sentence from this book. Eight pages of this doctrine. And ancient knowledge of any faith i devour. if anything my belief system is always changing.from one day to the next. i do know there are things you can not quite grasp from books or videogames. I figured out something after 43 years and that is I don't know shit. And I am okay with that.