LADY OF THE LAKE

As long as the sun shines and the moonlight puts us to sleep I have been walking in two worlds. The drug world and the real world. I cannot remember if the real world is make believe or fantasy. So I guess I will have to take fantasy, only because I am female. This picture is of my little girl and how I wish I could act cause we are stuck in winter here. I am clean clean clean now sparkly clean. This is from an old post so don't worry about the reference about the drug world. Guess i could delete it but then I would only be hiding something about myself and that is how
wonderful it feels to be where I am..

Anyway here goes..everytime the wind blows it is her breath I feel whispering in my ear "come to me". It tickles my soul with longing. I feel her presence inside me when i look in the mirror especially when I am putting on my mascara. That is the onlly time I really look into my eyes.. Look deep into my eyes. I am restless. I want to join her by the lake. I want to immerse myself in her spirit. I want to stick my warm blooded toes into the crystal clear reflection sparkling on top of the water, smiling back at me.. I am home.. Mom I am home...
with my dirty laundry, unshowered and ugly with all the sickness of the world coating my flesh and suffocating my soul-so much so that I find it hard to breathe. Mother it is I. Your biggest fuck up, your biggest failure. Here to fill up my heart with all your wonder and yes sympathy. And fresh beginnings..all before I leave again. Like every child. Why am I back? To wait for you to get back from your long cold sleep , to wake you with my pleas , to ask if you will soothe away all that ails me. Like a good mother would.
It is my turn for her quick kiss upon my hair. It is her turn to purify, to detoxify what has infected my body with it's poison. I must get to the lake. She needs me almost as much as I need her. We heal each other with our essence, our connection at birth. She is my blood, she runs through my veins. The wind is her breath that runs through my hair, pulsating with magic out into the open sky. I am her body and you are the journey...ahhh hell I just wanna swim in her sparkling laughter and taste weightlessness one more time..Mommy wake from the slumber of winter...