song..

music just makes me feel good. music is my friend. i was downloading songs from the itunes store on one laptop while i looked up a few on another laptop and my mom told me alison kraus and brad paisley for my last song. i finished up with jukebox hero while she found whiskey lullabye during the commercial break of whatever crime show she is watching. i watched the soldier walk in on his wife after he got back and caught her in bed with another guy and how he drank himself to death and i cried. i don't know why. least he had a reason. there are times i am sooo lost inside my sorrow and pain. it is my safe place. it has been standing soo long. i helped build it every brick i laid in place. every fuking one .i want to go home... i long with all my heart to find my place. i get soo restless at times i know it would be so easy to endanger the stronghold i have now that i must forget about where i belong and remember where i am going at this time. all that matters is my father's kingdom. you know i have a room with a killer view there. and instead of birds singing outside my window every morning it is the angels that sing glory to the king