stocker . .

like how i spelled stocker ? sound it out slowly and you get stalker lol. am i technically a stalker if they don't know ? geez i just cannot get him out of my mind. i want to know how he is and if he is with anyone but at the same time i dont want to know because what if it bursts my bubble ? it has been since summer that i looked into his eyes and when i did those butterflies in my stomach went crazy. why i think i might have never went back to the women's home if i wasn't positive he was going to be in church. dang it to hell. i don't do infatuation very well. but there is nothing i can do about it except sigh alot when i think about him. i tell myself he is with someone else by now. he has to be because he doesn't know how much i love him ! wow did i just say love ? that is it it is time i start to date . .or maybe i will just think about dating and hold out for him.