father's day..

i want to walk thru the day in charge of how it plays out. if i found a man that i could love.. would he love me back ? cause chances are not soo good he would love me back. what is the first step in loving yourself ? is it too know what i am thinking or the use of a gorgeous body to move on thru. where are my children at ? whose child am I ? i forgot how the world acts with me in it. whose table do i sit for supper ? who wipes the tears off my face ? i get lost in lonely - soo damn lonely it's impossible to recognize my face.i want to laugh and dance around. i want to kiss the boys and lie in bed as they cook me breakfast. eggs and bacon with no milk. i want to put on my shortest shorts on a hot summer day and know why ? i want a patch of soil to water so that my flowers will need me to survive. i need something to call my own. besides this feeling ..that nothing is my own.