He turned all the way around to face me. I stopped what I was doing and watched him. He was trying to think of the right way to approach me. I was curious, so I went back to my scratch ticket. I looked up and there he was staring into my dark brown eyes. Boys are irritating. Especially when they are acting all sweet and polite. I said, "What?"
He cleared his throat and said quickly, "Don't take this the wrong way k? You and I haven't known each other that long. But I do know you Kris. There is a sadness underneath your smile. A secret that you can't share. I understand about the past. Well sort of. We learn from the past. Hopefully we learn from it and move on. Why did you move here? What are you running from? It can't be that bad. You are a good person. I know it. You have friends and family here maybe it's time to stop running and give your self time to heal."
I smile and pull my long dark hair out of a ponytail for no reason at all. "What makes you think I am running from something? I don't talk about Spokane because we don't have that in common. Why would I talk about things and people you don't know. I keep to myself. I go to work. I come home. I don't have to be anyone I don't want to be. I think people are fake and it bores me. That is the sadness you see underneath my smile. I assumed that the clean and sober society would be different from the one I left. But it's not. People deal with different issues in the same way. They contort themselves around the hurt and pretend everything is okay."
"You are different. Someone really hurt you. Did you lose a child? What happened? Did you get out of the mental ward? Are you on medication. Cause you have a positive vibe. It's like the life is draining right out of you. It is pouring out of your eyes. Don't give up. What would you do? If there was one thing that YOU could do that you have always wanted to do, what would it be?"
I whispered immediately under my breath, "Rehab. Inpatient. Somewhere far from here/"
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