baby talk . .

when i first got back here to moscow close to a month ago i remember thinking oh great the enemy is messing with me because i couldn't hear out my left ear and i was worried about speaking too loudly when i stood up front to bear my testimony. it all worked out great. but i mentioned to my mom a couple days ago i was still having problems hearing out that side. she warmed up a towel in the microwave and had me put some rubbing alcohol on a q tip thinking that the alcohol would dry out any blockage and the warmth from the towel would melt it. i know it is not ear wax cause i clean my ears. but it does seem since i went swimming that it has started. also when i was on swim team i use to use the alcohol in a squirt bottle so pls don't think that was cruel or unusual behavior. oh  wait i am 45 years old. anyway i woke up in the middle of the night with a red hot poker thing sticking in my ear. i know it is infected now and it hurts soo bad and my other side is making funny noises when i swallow. funny thing is i know my mom ain't going to let me go to the doctor til i have the money to pay for it. so for now suffer suffer suffer. i sense a bad mood sinking down upon me like a dark  cloud of mist. i had better get my butt to the chapel and pray. but before that library, grocery store, upto the mall to turn in a few apps, and 4 ebay packages going out. i love mondays