I have often been guilty of giving others a choice of good news or bad news first. I have to because it gives me a sense of power control over them. I also only give those weaker than me that choice...like my children. But if I have to choose I always pick the bad news first. Because no telling how bad the bad news can be. Feed me the dread first and let me try to get it down on my own. I swear with how things go that no news is good news to me. So my ten minutes on the couch are down do 7 maybe 6 more minutes..and with so little time left i share this tidbit of shame :) being of native american ancestry i am prone at times to lose my interest in the rules that govern the general population, especially if i am drinking alcohol. I forget the laws pertain to me. Not on purpose mind you only because I am usually immersed in all kinds of fun . 2 minutes left in this session man i am so good at cutting corners hehehe. ..Okay memorial weekend and i am downtown spokane leaving the atm . Let's just say I was in the process of my d.u.i. arrest . Anyway I am trying to retrieve money at this atm on this one way street and me being untouchable and most beautiful I tune out the rest of the world. It is a sunday night about 1:30 a.m. and I need cash to get my booty back to the bar before last call but the damn atm keeps spitting out my card. I don't realize i am using my library card and each time it rejects it i do this sorta anger rage dance. I am sure it was my tantilizingly seductive anger rage dance cause I am just that good when my stereo blasts away my favorite song. I drop my card on the ground & pick it up and try again it spits it out and i grab it screaming and break it in two. the light at the bank is bright enough to blind me from what is going on around me .My cd starts skipping loudly and isn't it so annoying when that happens ? See all the things leading up to being handcuffed were not all completely my fault. I hear a door shut and cars pass by and I am like wow fuck it I am just going to get there in time to pick my girlfriend up. At that point I am tired all used up. I turn off my music and pull away from the curve...leaning in my glove box trying to find my matchbox 20 and in the blink of an eye there are flashing lights !! I pull into the gas station and the officer walks up to my window and says license and proof of insurance now !!! And I say okay cause I am fine and dandy since i am sucking on a dirty altoid or so I think. Anyway I have one of those gigantic huge purses that can substitute as a suitcase and it is just crammed full of shit. I start digging and looking and he has got his flashlight pointed in my purse trying to help me help myself. I really should have turned the radio off cause a song distracted me....fastway-say what you will. All of a sudden i forget how serious this whole thing is when I find my tube of lancome lipstick halfway down my bag. I start cackling like crazy and purring like a cat. I start talking to my favorite shade of gloss .."oh my god how i missed you flo you are my favorite gloss" and then i did the unthinkable i start kissing it mmmwwwaaa and rubbing it on my face. Think he didn't arrest he right then and there ? Hell yes and I wasn't even that drunk. So now I don't drink that much anymore cause i really need to work on my social drinking skills just like a good alcohlic native girl who ain't that smart to be driving in the first place.
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