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when i stop and let the angst catch up with my heartbroke mind. I feel myself crumbling in upon myself. I miss the love we never shared and now that it is gone i am where i want to be if i can't be in your arms. who is gonna hold me when i lie awake in bed? Who is gonna make me want to be better than myself ? Did i really love you ? God i know i do..it is like my heart is still with you and i need it back inside of me. I lose the urge to eat and i don't want to take a breath. It is just too much too handle ...you've moved on with your life. And I feel lost without the struggle that we both played upon. God I only see you laughing in my dreams and i want to grab you and wake up in your arms. I am always with you though i try to not tag along. I wonder if i ever lost you as much as i lost myself ? I know i can never find you without first knowing myself. But the pull i feel towards you is like a magnet to your arms. Maybe i am in love with the sadness cause in truth i was always alone. God how i missed you as i laid awake in bed and then i always left you once you made it back home. To try and make you feel what it is like when you are alone and somehow in the lesson i came to learn my own.