magic man

Well not going to be philosophical today because it is monday and if you are going to attempt a grasp at wisdom doesn't it always sound better a little farther into the week ? I say yes....and the queen has spoken. Last night i was in the process of discovering a new show to love "long island medium " and i got a text from my youngest in spokane telling me mommy i am scared. oh fuck i called her right back wanting to know whether to call the wolves in despite the fact i have left papa wolf 3 or 4 months back. I am trying to calm her down and in the process i lost my cool cause what mother can keep her cool when her baby is crying like that ? Not me. Her dad is not there (that reminds me to chew his out for not telling me he was leaving the country) he and his girlfriend are on the way back to spokane from mexico. Of course that made me sit down and out of reflex i asked .."were they getting married ?" NO mama he got best employee of the year at work.i cursed under my breath for asking i really did. Seems daddy's girlfriend's son and his friends were drunk and running around acting all crazy with the knifes they were using to carve pumpkins. I really like daddy's girlfriend and she loves my daughter and takes good care of her during the week. And i know how unruly my kids can be when i am not around to yank their hair or scream at them to get back in line. I tell her calmly to go to her room and shut the door and she is hysterical i feel myself start to panic and tears well up in my eyes..that is when my mother takes the phone from my hand and starts talking to cassidy not to cry that she is not going to get off the phone with her while we figure out what to do. She hands me her secret other emergency phone i call katie no answer ...i call her dad no answer...i look at my mom and as soon as she makes eye contact with me i calm down enough to sit down and think. I call daddy's girlfriends other daughter. first ring she picks up and i explain things without hesitation she says i am on my way. .:) damn i am so getting that girl a christmas card this year or a gift certificate. Everything is fine now and i am so glad. I hope my ex- husband is doing better since he suffered a heart attack...in prison. I left him with our girls and moved up here 12 or 13 years ago from kansas city. We had a business high voltage racing and he had a side interest- he raced top fuel harleys. If he wasn't putting a bottle of nos (Nitrous) on a street bike then he was flying down the track at the speed of sound. There is nothing like the sound of top fuel...purring like the devil's holy spawncat. Nitro methane and alcohol it just tickles the hairs in my ears and makes me crazy insane. Since i started watching sons of anarchy i have been thinking alot of those days..those crazy days.Dancing at the shady lady until he found me and took me home.He was the first man i ever loved and when i say loved it is past tense. Okay i never should have got with a 1% er and had his children. But I would not change a thing if it means not having my girls. ATF and their Rico act snagged him and i must say the world is probably alot duller place. But he is clean now and he cares about the girls even though him and i don't think about each other...doesn't mean i wish him any ill.