a soldier I love ..I raised on my own

what can I find you ? my child to remind you …“home” will protect  you  when you’re  gone away ?
how will I let you walk out of my arms  ?  and  into my dreams. this  place  will exist no more, without you in it. the wind and the stars play close to our house. knowing you will  show to say goodbye..to me. the trees and soil know how to work me but…you I love. !  so come find me in the early evening and say what you will. mom I will miss you !! I will miss you more. I will smile in front of the anger and hold you close as I curse this bloody war. I will believe in the cause, not the politicians dressed up in suits. they are power whores.
if death should find you. know I will find you no matter the cost. to bring you home to rest with your wife. who I didn’t like very much when she was alive. but now that they have you . I have had a change of heart..she is a symbol of hope . I will honor her forever .the way you do. now that she’s gone. my feet feel tiny and insignificant  in this big big world. oh my child  can’t you hear my beating heart ? how will I  manage without  your charm ? your smile it brightens up my mediocre day.  how will they shield  you …. from  all the flying bullets ?
  that want you more than me.