without..

mom and aunt betty left on their vacation a couple days ago. the first thing i did was finish unpacking the house and work of course. but now that everything is done and i have nothing really to do besides watch netflix. i find it hard to get up and move around now that i have a day off. maybe it is the placement of a picture i put of cassidy on my bedroom wall. everytime i open my eyes i see her smiling face down at me and it just takes my breath away cause i miss her soo fucking bad. i mean her life is growing and moving away from me without me in it as long as i live here. i miss my daughter i need her to need me. i need someone to remember me and the things i like to do. i need my children calling me or showing up at my door unannounced saying..mom come on we are going to do this today or i need you to  babysit sam anything is better than this...