dirty laundry..

my day off passes gracefully..without a sound or a whimper. the only human contact i have is what i see from my 2nd story apartment window. i have not spoken to anyone human or myself for the second day in a row. i wonder if i will still rememember how to speak english tomorrow when i return back to the job ? i am not totally useless i did march my pretty little self down the twenty steps two times just so i could do my laundry.when you have your basket of clothes and are trying not to act winded on those stairs that are worse than the lewiston grade you distract yourself from the pain of trying to take a normal breath like everybody else. i can feel the eyes watching me ...i am facing the high school. so i was given a pep talk i guess to make me feel better about myself. funny thing is i didn't know i was bothered by it.
 these are the words that popped in my head as i was trying to appear graceful but i was two seconds away from road rage folks. when i got to the top and i sighed in secret relief i heard... "see it doesn't matter if you have no friends and know no one in this rinky dink town. you can do things on your own. fuck them least you are getting something done. ha is that funny or what?
 so i am going to try to start blogging a little bit more about a little bit less and see where it takes me..yawning loudly i am .

 wait a second i have changed !! omg i wash all my towels after one use now. i never use to do that. i am damaged to the point of sheer exhaustion. a towel use to have a shelf life as far as i was concerned. which is starts off all folded and neat on the shelf and  when you reach for it that is the one that you wrap around your body-next to your skin. then it moves to the one you wrap around your head to keep your hair back and away so you can dry off the rest of your body and put lotion on or keeps your face front and center when putting on make up. let me just stop right here and say i love make up. my hair is long and flyaway when i am ready to tackle it i will drop the towel to the floor.  after 3 or 4 rounds as head cover. then gravity takes over and it moves on down to the floor. especially where i use to live with the drafts and cat hair covering everything wet.  ahhhhhhhhh see i just blogged about nothing nothing at all