room 308..

i knew today was going to be really busy and it was. in between room 308 and 309 i had a mood swing of epic proportion. it was a massive landslide into oblivion. it started with a sigh and all of a sudden what was left of my getter done hang in there kinda mood was gone. i guess it abandoned ship. i was almost done in 308 i was just finishing up scrubbing the tub. i don't mind making beds or vacuuming but the toilet and the tubs make me pissy. and my trigger was 2 pubic hairs that wouldn't wash down the drain without me having to use my scrub to touch them. cause that just becomes a hassle fuk i hate being on my knees bent over trying to get rid of pubic hair u know? well you probably don't. ba humbug. i had the experience of my vice wrapping it's icy cold fingers around my heart and i had to sit back with the exhaust in the bathroom blaring out any sound of my misery. i know it is going to take the rest of my life not to be an addict. i moved away from the source although one phone call and wow am not even going there. i have been okay. i am lonely. i am depressed. i am overweight. i am behind in every mess that is boxed up in the apt. i get home from work and i mean to do something to make the mountain of boxes turn into hills but i end up just flopping on my bed and giving up. i feel like nothing. i have nothing but empty arms...