losing it..

i had just remarried and stepped outside to look at the grass that was knee high in the front yard of the house that we had bought and moved into. i was happy as i stood there basking in the warmth of the sunshine. my husband was at work for the day and i had decided to prove to him that i was good at something else besides sex. i turned and walked to the shed in the backyard to retrieve an old friend that i believed could help me out that day. yep the old lawnmower i had grown up with. i had walked up and down every yard we had lived in since my youth just to avoid the indoor chores. i knew how to work it, to lift the front wheels up just a little to even out the rev of that motor. thanks to my dad who donated to a good cause --ME.
as i pushed old faithful out to onto the front driveway to get it running two of our neighbors introduced themselves to me at that time. i was very gracious and was all aglow. i kept the formal introductions short cause i was just having an excellent day. my husband would be home for lunch and i just thought how proud he would be of me to pull up out front and see how much better our home looked. it was all ready to go and i put my foot down on it and bent over and yanked the pull start just right and i must not have let go just right cause it jerked out of my hand ..without starting. okay okay i checked the throttle and kinda giggled for the neighbors to see that i wasn't even seriously trying. but inside my head i was like ..oh motha fuk! i moved the push mower to a more flat surface and grabbed the the end of that damn thing again and pulled as straight and as fast as i could like i had done soo many times in my youth and nothing. i checked the fluids and turned away from the street and pulled again and again AND I DON'T REMEMBER LOSING IT BUT SOMEHOW I HAD. IN A FIT OF RAGE I MUST HAVE LAUNCHED IT AWAY FROM MYSELF SO I WOULDN'T HURT MY FOOT IF I SHOULD START TO KICK IT AND I WASN'T ABLE TO COMPREHEND HOW FAR GONE I WAS UNTIL A TOTAL STRANGER DRIVING BY HAD PULLED OVER AND WAS LIKE LIFTING THE LAWNMOWER PIECE OF SHIT BACK ONTO IT'S WHEELS AND WALKING BACK TOWARDS ME WITH THIS SMIRK ON HIS FACE CAUSE I WAS SOME GORGEOUS FEMALE WHO SHOULD BE INSIDE THE HOUSE MAKING BABIES. he asked me is this yours ..ha
i felt really small and nodded and he told me watch ..he yanked the cord and brrrrr started just like that. i did mow the grass but the whole time my mind was trying to figure out a way this piece of equiptment was going to go bye bye. my husband was glad and very happy to see me involved into making our new house a home but my neighbors ...hehe kept their distance from me.