the stroll...

i gotta have the stress just to survive. i use to say to myself anytime something was resolved in my life...okay steady steady girl cause there is so much weight i carry on my shoulders that if any was removed i would topple on over cause i would be soo off balance but anymore i don't give a shit about anything just sleep. i walk the two miles home from work without stopping so i can go in my room and shut the door. i turn off the light and i turn off the tv and i lay down on my favorite pillow and pull my cotton comforter up over my shoulder to the end of my nose. i breathe into the the covers and try not to cry or ask why ..the whole world is noisy and loud and it is cold. and the wind finds you and chills you to the core and i look around and i see not one familiar face not one anymore. it use to be you could see polite or even nice inside the store. i don't know what i am thinking or what i want. i don't know how to find it if i did. my heart is somewhere out there lost in the crowd tucked in his back pocket as he walks along with her...