letter home...

This is my first letter home when i still had not really accepted what was going on.

 Dear Mom,
I hope you are well and enjoying the summer. Thank you for the box of my things you mailed to katie. (my daughter who brought them to where i was staying). I really appreciate it. So I was able to listen to your message right before my phone was confiscated. There is no phones, computers, TV, newspapers or magazines allowed at all in my little world. I can honestly say i think I bit off more than I can chew when it comes to this place. But whatever it takes right? This is a discipleship home. We are up at 5am for prayer and bible study. I find it hard to be told to kneel at the alter and to pray out loud for 2 or 3 hours a day. Everyday. They talk in tongues at church and i feel they are trying to brainwash us. I am the only sister who has does not fall down in a relegious swoon when they lay their hands on me and try to cast out my demons. The girls that go to Victory Outreach fall passed out to the floor unconscious or something. It really freaks me out bad. I am not allowed to talk to anybody outside the home..ever. No male contact or conversations with anyone. Does this seem a little extreme to you? I am never alone. I would like to say this is the place for me. But I am at a loss for words. My blackout is over now and I am allowed 1 phone call every a week. Every thursday we have a 24 hour fast geez .Katie and Sam come to church every sunday to see me. I am allowed to sit by them. But I am not allowed to talk to them. They tell me mormonism is evil and satantic. So I keep my thoughts to myself. I did start to read the bible though. I am just starting the book of deuteronomy. Due to the fact we are required 2-3 hours of bible study daily. I am actually learning scripture. They call it saturation. I call it a pain in the butt. Victory Outreach is non-demoninational
(wow did a spell that non-demon something hehe). The only thing that feels right is sometimes we are allowed to do street ministry. we are allowed to venture down sprague and try to talk the prostitutes and drug addicts who are female into our home for recovery and discipleship. I feel like I don't know. I love you always mom. I hope you are well. Maybe on my birthday or if you meet james to pick up cassidy you could send me some more of my clothes of make up and a few personal items. I have 5 or 6 shirts now and 2 pairs of pants. I still have your phone, my phone and my laptop they are all locked up safe in the office here. i love you KRIS